SPE 145: Blog 5: LISTEN Closely!

I listened to a girl reciting poetry. It was a love poem called Don’t Cry Love. When it comes to her communicative properties they were very unique compared to traditional speaker’s voice. Her voice had a high pitch. She started off very strong. Whenever she got to a part that describes her hurt her pitch went up. Then she would have a silent pause and then start her next line of what she had to say, with her pitch still strong but at a moderate rate. The rate of her voice was pretty fast. It got even faster when she explained a situation from the past where she got hurt. For instance, she would  have a silent pause and then say “Don’t say it unless you mean it” and then pause again and then speak very fast giving an example of what she means; a time where someone clearly showed her that they really didn’t love her. When she spoke her voice was very clear. Her articulation/pronunciation was very distinct and correct. She made sure her listener understood everything she had to say.  It’s just that the rate of her voice was so fast that you had to really pay attention to understand and process what she was trying to tell you.

With this style of voice I would associated hurt, pain, and experience. It seems as if she has been hurt in the past, maybe many times, where she has learned what it feels like, what it sounds like, and has thus grown from the experience of it all. She has also made up in her mind and now publicly telling everyone that she doesn’t want to experience that type of lying-pain (“Don’t say it unless you mean it”) again. Voice affects what I understand of this person by the way in which she said then and when she said them. Knowing the characteristics of voice I was able to understand what this speaker was saying. I noticed that every time she started to reflect back to her past you could hear the anger from the hurt she once felt and that is where I noticed the variety in her voice (i.e., the pitch). 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAimoCmcWqI&feature=relmfu

SPE 145: Blog 4: FACE It!

I decided to use my best friend. I sat face-to-face/parallel with her and asked her what she did over Spring Break. With her being my best friend and all, it was easy to pay attention and read her expressions, yet very interesting and weird/awkward when I started to noticed the shifts and changes in her face when she told me certain details of her activities during Spring Break.

Immediately when I asked my best friend how her break was I noticed her pupils dilated and an upper lid raiser happened, which told me that this topic was stimulating to her and that she had something interesting to tell me. He face did a lip corner puller and said that it was good, that she went to the beach in New Jersey and that while there stayed with some girlfriends. I asked what she had done while she was there and she said “Oh, nothing really…I just relaxed and then hung out with a friend”, and then I noticed a cheek puffer, that was an unwitting expresser. So I asked about this “friend” and instantly, like Miss America herself, she started grinning a lot, which is the frozen-affect expressor. So I asked again, “who is this friend?”.  She tried to pretend to be nonchalant, and say that he was just some guy she knew for years and they just grabbed lunch once or twice and hung out, but ultimately, it was nothing. However, when my best friend is telling me this, her face is saying the exact opposite. She was using the substitute expressor, and it was so easy to read. She wants me to believe that this “friend” is nothing more than that yet, her norming is off and her facial expressions are all over the place and contradicting what she is saying. She then jumped to the next subject and began telling me about all the things she got while shopping and I noticed that she was normal self. Her face was relaxed and moderate.

Facial expressions can tell us so much about what a person is really thinking and saying, but aren’t actually telling us. We have the tendency to try and disguise what we feel and lie in a sense, but facial expressions give us away almost every time without us even realizing. Today I learned this happens more than I thought when I asked my best friend about her Spring Break.

SPE 145: Blog 3: “People-Watching”

I decided to sit in the Academic Forum to do my “people-watching”.

I saw a guy and two girls sitting together at in an open space. The guy was sitting on the left, and a girl, who seems to be his girlfriend, was on his right, and to her right was the other girl, who seemed to be her friend. At first glance, they all seemed to be good friends, but then I seen that the girl who was sitting next to guy was in very intimate space (about 2-6 fists away). This girl showed a lot of nonverbal communication that indicated she and the guy were dating. The girl and the guy also showed that they were comfortable sitting as close as they were. When the guy would say something she would laugh, take her hand and cover her mouth a little to hide how much she was smiling, straighten her posture so that her back was arched and her left shoulder was toward him. When there was no talking they would periodically touch each other on the shoulder or arm, just because. For instance, the girl would say something and she’d take her hand and tap the guys shoulder like “aha, stop it” or “yeah, I know”. And he would put his arms around her and rub her shoulder as to say “this is my girlfriend” or to show that they liked each other.

As for the other girl, she was very casual. She sat about a handshake away from the girl, which was about 2 arm lengths away from the guy. That let me know that she may not have been as close with the guy as she was the girl, so she was trying to sit in the appropriate amount of space to even them out and show the difference in the relationship. The girl did not talk as much, which definitely let me know that she had more rapport with the girl and did not know the guy as well. Her posture was not the same as the other girl. Her posture was more so hunched, and her expressions were not as enthusiastic as the guy or the other girl that she was sitting with. It seemed as if this girl did not feel as comfortable sitting with her friend and the guy, who seemed to have been her boyfriend. By her facial expressions the girl seemed as if she was just trying to be a good friend, but would have felt more comfortable if the guy was not there.

SPE:145----- Proxemics, Proxemics, Proxemics!

My personal space is very important to me. When I first moved into my house and picked my room I instantly knew how and where I wanted everything. With it being small, I tried to make every space count. I am also a very private person so I had to make sure that if someone is walking pass they see very standard room items (e.g., dresser, chair, desk), nothing too personal, like my bed. When I set up my room I put my bed on the wall that is on the same side as the door. Therefore, even if my door is open my bed is not be visible and if I am sleeping you will have to enter in order to see and find out. I placed my dresser on the opposite side of my dresser because I am very keen on things being positioned evenly. Not to mention, I am a female who loves looking in the mirror to perfect things. So waking up out of bed and having my dresser and mirror right in front of me is perfect. My nightstand, is directly next to bed and in front of the window because every time I walk in my room I sit my phone (or beverage if I have one) on the nightstand and then look out the window. In front of my nightstand and dresser, equally positioned between the two, is my puppy’s bed.  We both like to see each other when relaxing and so I make sure to put our beds in close distance, almost side-by-side. I also have things close together, not just because my room is small, but because it is comforting to me. When I’m in my room I feel that it is cozier with things being positioned together.  I love my room and having my own space. I consider it my own little private sanctuary. It is so comforting knowing I have that space to go home to.  

SPE:145----- Reflective Self!

As we are silent to the world are minds are screaming with thoughts and ideas and pure randomness, all racing each other to be at the front of the mind… A lot of times we fail to realize what signals and nonverbal messages we are giving off.

As I began to reflect upon myself I started to pay attention and focus on every little thing I did, why I did it, and then what/how others may have perceived it. And you know, surprisingly, I rethought some things. I said to myself, “wow, could I have come off as rude?”, “Oh, I wonder what they’re thinking now…” and such things like that… With that being said I honestly believe that I come across to others as intimidating (for the most part)…

A lot of times I am not seen speaking to people unless it is necessary, especially when I am walking, I have noticed that I keep a straight face. It is usually because I am thinking at a rapid rate, but ultimately because I am focused. When I am walking or even standing still there are so many thoughts that race through my mind; getting to my destination on time, what I have just done, what I have to do later, and such things like that. However, when I am spoken to I do speak and most times if I see someone I know I will speak first. I have noticed that when I am spoken to I keep it straight to the point. I do not feel the need to talk unless it is necessary when I am not around my close friends or family. Most times I am usually very comfortable and confident, but very cautious because I over analyze and over think things that I just decide that it is best to keep my mouth closed. And that can also make me come off as “stuck-up”. Along with the way I walk; the posture, the slight bounce, and straight face.

There is a way that I dress and overall carry myself, what I will and will not eat, what I will and will not do. I believe I leave the impression on people that I am “stuck-up” and overall intimidating, but to those who know me, strong. And I do think that I do well sending the nonverbal messages of being strong, which can also be intimidating (at times). & I do need some improvements with how I come off sometimes that make me seem stuck-up. I could actually try to maintain a more calm and friendly facial expression and I think that will definitely pull help pull together the rest of my nonverbal messages that I give off.